dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
