i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
