if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
