well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
