I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
