I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize