of course. lets lasso hookers.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
