he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
