How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
