My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
