the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
