She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize