look no pants
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
