part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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