There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
