When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize