that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
