Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
