Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
