im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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