Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
