I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
