Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
