nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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