i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
