Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
