12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
