all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
