She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
two words...techno handjob
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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