It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
