Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
