Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Houston, we have a squirter
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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