You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
