And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
