Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
