i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
