It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
