I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
