Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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