and she was petting her beer can
only you would photoshop your dick
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
