if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
