NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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