She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize