Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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