It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
from now on my penis is your penis
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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