wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
