Don't make out with my wife yet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
