I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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