my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
