He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
