he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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