Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
