I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
