I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
