I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Alive.
So much puke
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize