yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
