He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
