My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
